An Array of Ailments

I have been away for a really long time. I’m sorry- I’d like to blame it all on jet-lag, but we did get back from Toronto two months ago. Since then, Rafi and I both started new (wonderful) jobs, Rafi’s with not as wonderful hours. Then came Sukkot, where we didn’t have a chance to breathe and I didn’t check my email once in three weeks (it was actually really nice learning what life is like without a computer- like rehab). And then last week I went to the hospital with Achinoam at around 4 am because she couldn’t be calmed and she threw up. When does a 4 month old throw up? When they have viral meningitis. I will not go into it here, but Baruch Hashem in a big way that she is ok. So for any mothers out there are wondering if they should take their baby to the doctor or wait till morning, go with your gut. You can’t beat a mother’s instinct. So she is better now, again, thank Gd, and I come down with what I think is a virus. But instead of getting better, I’m holed up at home with the chills and a fever, sore throat and I decide to call the doctor. Apparently, I have swine flu. Again, I am more or less fine now and I’m hoping no one near me will catch it- at least until I’m able to take care of them. Now, today (yes, this is happening as you’re reading this), I am home with one of the worst headaches of my life- probably unrelated to the flu, but the doctor said my husband needs to stay home and take care of me. So that’s him up there- I had to take a picture for posterity, since I just charged my camera after three months of a dead battery, and also because he never stays home anymore and it’s nice having him around for the day. Here’s to a healthy next week!

Cheeks

Yes, they're my cheeks. The rest is Rafi.

Yes, the cheeks are filling out. No need to comment on them. I have a lot of people here who think they’re cute!

Home from the homefront

and we're back in business!

I’ve been waiting for about a month for Rafi to get home and I know that tomorrow I won’t remember he was gone! That’s how it is, isn’t it? You adapt your life, do nothing all day just trying to conserve the energy for when you have 3  kids under 4 to take care of, and then one day your life goes back to normal and you’re not alone anymore. How wonderful it is that we all possess the power to block  out the difficult times. On the other hand, it was a really good excuse why I didn’t clean the house, cook anything, do any laundry, spent a lot of money on really sugary coffee drinks, spent a lot of money on takeout, and let the kids watch TV, oh and not brush their teeth. Now what am I going to do?? I WAS LIVING THE GOOD LIFE!!! I guess we’re all out of the army now, all in our own way. Life has to go back sometime. But I’m still going to get my coffee blend though, I AM still on maternity leave.

Gender Roles

What is it with women and their jewellery?

I never considered myself a person who pushes boy things on boys and girl things on girls- although now that I think about it, everything Tzviya owns is either pink or has frills. But seriously, I offer her cars all the time. My mom even bought Mr. G a boy doll. I used to think it was all nature- I mean, when given a stroller to play with, Miss T likes to put dolls in and walk around the house, while Mr. G runs around smashing it into walls. Definitely nature. But on Tisha B’Av, we made jewellery, and Mr. G made a beautiful necklace which at first, he said was for me. But when it came to finishing it off, he decided he wanted to wear it. I put the necklace around his neck and he wore it for about a minute and then he began to get ansy. He started fidgeting with it and then said, “I don’t want to wear this. This is only for Imas and Tzviyalis.” So I took it off and let Miss T wear it and boy was she thrilled. So what does this teach us? Boys can’t stand fidgeting and girls don’t care? Maybe. Or maybe even if we don’t intend to do it, somehow we impart these roles on them. I don’t think it’s a bad thing. This is how the world is. But Mr. G did get great joy seeing me wear his necklace when he handed it to me that night and said, “Ima, I made this for you- I love you!”. aaawww, I know!!! Whichever way you see it, it’s just a nice thing when a man knows how to give a gift, even a 3 foot, 3.5 year old little man with a really big heart.

Mr. G smelling the necklace. Maybe this will give some insight into why girls like wearing these?

A Tisha B’Av Thought

Last night as Mr. G was negotiating his way out of going to sleep, we had a conversation. He was eating his bowl of cornflakes and he suddenly said, “There’s going to be a fire!”. He was concerned. I said, “Where is the fire going to be?” He said, “In Hashem’s house.” I guess they’ve been learning about Tisha B’Av in gan. Really?? It’s a bit scary, I’d say, but I went with it. “So tell me about the fires.” He goes on and tells me about the bad people coming who burn up Hashem’s house and it’s very sad. How does one respond to this? I say, well if we’re nice to each other and we’re a good friend and a good brother, then Hashem’s house will be rebuilt. He says, “I have a better idea, I’ll build it myself.” So he jumped off his chair, so proud of his idea, and brought his blocks over and began building. Did I mention what an expert he is at not going to sleep? He knew that I wasn’t going to make him stop building the Beit HaMikdash. So he stayed up for another half hour building it and then went to sleep happy.  If only we could take the responsibility he took upon himself to have the Beit HaMikdash rebuilt. Be nice to each other. If only life were this simple. To Mr. G, it is. And I hope it stays that way for a long, long time.

A Walk to Remember

Thrilled to be leaving at dusk

Last night I thought it would be nice to go for a family walk. It’s been really really hot outside and we haven’t been able to get to the park, so I thought how nice it would be to get into PJs and walk around the block and have a picnic for dinner. HA! I’m totally nuts. So I prepared sandwiches and everything and the kids wanted to watch TV instead. So they had a picnic on my bed watching Thomas the Tank Engine.  When it came time to go to sleep, all of a sudden they were ready to go. That caught me off guard. Seriously, I don’t know why I didn’t realize this would happen. Not wanting to go to bed- being willing to do all manner of things before going to sleep- This is class 101 in mother school.

My Lucky Day

What I’m referring to is miluim (army service- reserve duty) and what I mean is, why is it that it always falls at the WORST POSSIBLE TIME! Let me share. In 2005, July 13th to be exact, I made aliyah. Mazal tov to me! It was both exciting, exhilerating, and frightening. Didn’t speak very much Hebrew and certainly hadn’t learned the art of chutzpah yet (probably the most frightening part). The day after we arrived, we had a lot to do- finding an apartment, getting our bank account, teudat zehut, doctor because I had found out we were expecting our first child. But when we woke up that morning, we found out the next week my husband was going to the army for a month. I may have fainted- don’t remember because I have blocked that period out of my mind. So we were pregnant, homeless, stuffless, and I would be all alone in a new country. Fantastic. What better way to spend my first month in Israel.

The next time he had miluim I think we had just had our first baby- he was four months old- and we were moving to a new apartment and starting a new job. My lucky day was when Rafi came home from miluim to accept our lift (aka 70 gagillion boxes filled with who knows what that I needed to unpack since we were starting work as soon as he got home. Oh yeah, and I also had to take care of my four month old at the same time). Isn’t the army nice for giving him one day off to help me?

The time after that, we were expecting our second baby and I had a 14 month old and the flu. That one was so fun. Oh and my 14 month old had rotavirus. Or was that the next time?

I think this time was the kicker. I kid you not. Exactly one month to the day after giving birth to Achinoam, Rafi is in the army for a month. Oh and he has three exams and two papers to write while he’s there. My lucky day was the day he originally was called for- June 14th- the day I gave birth. He wouldn’t have had to go had it not changed to July 14th.  Luckily I was able to walk and as I’m sure the army knows, one month after giving birth, every mother is up and able to care for her 3.3 year old, 1.5 year old, and newborn.  Oh and I’m sure they also knew that I was able to do laundry, cook, and handle the unrelenting heat. I’m sure that’s why they made that rule and made no exceptions for how many kids you have, whether you have your family close by, and whether you have a budget for a babysitter. I’m sure they considered all those factors when stealing my husband from us for an entire month, the month after I gave birth. I’m looking forward to my lucky day who knows when next week, when he comes back.

I really needed to get that off my chest.

3 piles of laundry

New Baby

It’s been a long week and a half. It started last sunday morning at 4 am. Definite labor pains. I told Rafi to call Etan and Jo. They were here in about 10 minutes (you guys were life savers). Rafi was still unsure that this was all real so we stayed home until we were sure. Got the kids ready for gan and left for the hospital. It’s a pretty quick ride to Hadassa at 6am. We got there and yes, it was real. 5 cm- almost there- and it was even my due date!! (and no, it didn’t matter that I didn’t register there). We had a wonderful midwife named Leslie (ask for her- she was calm, nurturing, and knowledgeable). I asked Rafi “why don’t I get an epidural?” and he said, “It’s your choice but I was supposed to remind you that you don’t want one.” So I didn’t have one. Not a mistake, but lets just say the last couple minutes were challenging. New Baby (who will be named iyH this Friday) was born at 3.77 kilo (over 8 lbs) at 9:23 am.

That was two Sundays ago.

I was folding the laundry the other night and it occurred to me- I have 3 piles of children’s clothes to put away now, not just 2. It was just one of those moments where it started to sink in that now we have 3.  We’re so blessed. Can’t believe it. B”H for everyone’s health. Now for some sleep…one day at a time, right?

Yes, this took place in my kitchen

Rafi's amazing artisan bread

Rafi made this amazing bread for shavuot last week. His culinary skills have seriously surpassed mine and the funny thing is, I’m ok with it. I never thought I would be. When we first got married, I insisted on being the super wife- cooking up gourmet meals in the kitchen. I loved it, but I know it partly came from wanting to carve out a niche for myself in the relationship. It was a way to give, to provide for my husband and my family, and it was very fulfilling.

For me, cooking is still fun, but since pregnancy and child rearing, I guess I’m finding more ways to contribute and the cooking just isn’t as important to me. Although, it could just be that I’m in my 39th week and heck, following all those instructions? I’d rather sit back and watch the Today show. That’s why Rafi’s new culinary skills couldn’t have come at a better time. Since I have limited ability to stand up in the kitchen, he has recently taken over. He now has a favourite blog and a website that he goes to for recipes (desserts mostly). Cooking allows him freedom to explore his creative side and create something from nothing. When it comes out good, which it always does, it’s really fulfilling.

Something else came out of this “baking binge” (if you will) and that is more admiration of him. When we’re looking for a husband, we have in our heads the criteria we’re looking for. We’re very often turned off when that person isn’t exactly what we want. I remember when we were dating (this actually sounds nuts), one day in the summer he wore a polo shirt untucked. He had always worn a tucked in striped or plain blue button down shirt so this was a big change. I don’t know why, but I was like, “what are you wearing?” In my head, he had to be put together and look like a mentch. Yes, when one day he wore shorts I almost blew my top!  I got over it (I know that wasn’t the best example, but it certainly illustrated my nuttiness).I realized he could be himself, not the image in my head.

So when he took on these baking projects and the outcome was just way beyond what I ever had the patience to create, I realized this was a whole unexplored dimension to my husband that I never knew before and I saw him in a whole new light. Isn’t that what relationships are all about? Always keeping an open mind and heart to discovering new and wonderful qualities in your spouse. It’s nice when it happens and I hope and know that there will be many more good surprises like this one along the way!

You can see some of his creations here. Yes, he was mentioned on my sister-in-law’s blog!

A Yom Yerushalayim to remember!

This might have been my last Yom Yerushalayim celebrated as a family since Rafi will be going to work full time next year (tears of sadness and joy).

Abba and G

It was a fun day! As always, the kids came back dirty, cranky, and full of junk food, but it was worth it. I love living in Yerushalayim and I’m going to be a little sad to leave one day. Every year they have this parade called the Rikkudgalim, where people wear their blue and white and march to the kotel (I couldn’t fit into blue and white this year). As opposed to Yom Haatzmaut, Yom Yerushalayim has a more religious feel to it. People are out on the streets dancing and celebrating the miracle of winning the Six Day War and recapturing Jerusalem, our spiritual epicenter. And what better way to celebrate than to dance in the streets all the way to the kotel. If you see the kids blog, you’ll see the video at the end. Tzviya is busy waving her flag to the tune of “ba’neshama” and the words to the song are “ani maamin, b’emunah shleima, b’viat hamashiach b’eretz yisrael shel ahava….ahavat yisrael b’neshama”. It’s truly a blessing and a miracle to be here in a place full of love, life, and vitality.

Can you tell I’m majorly pregnant? It’s been a week of really mushy posts…one thing is for sure, there will definitely be more!